Family Traditions: A Recipe for Realization

At a family gathering, a young woman was asked why she cut the ends off the ham she had brought to the meal. “My mom always cut the ends off,” she replied. The young lady asked her mother later why she cut the ends off the ham. “I’m not sure, but my mother used to cut the ends off too,” her mother said.

The young woman called her grandmother and asked why she had cut the ends off the ham, thinking it had something to do with soaking in more flavor or allowing it to cook better.

Her grandmother replied, “I don’t know why you all cut the ends off, but I always did because I didn’t have a pan large enough to fit the whole thing.”

How often do we fall prey to doing things a certain way simply because that’s how we were taught or because that’s “the way it has always been done”?

In the martial arts community and in life, we must ever be the student. This means learning from our teachers and founders, but also seeking new information and applications.

Seneca wrote in his Moral Letters, “the truth will never be discovered if we rest contented with discoveries already made. Besides, he who follows another not only discovers nothing, but is not even investigating.”

There is a difference between following someone’s teachings and using them to pioneer your own.

Isaac Newton wrote, “If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of Giants.” He certainly didn’t stop with what those giants saw. He sought a farther view.

We’ve seen that in the martial arts world with Bruce Lee taking the teaching of Ip Man and building his own system that encompassed other arts and techniques.

Lee’s students fall into two categories: those who only teach the techniques Lee taught during his lifetime; and those who took his philosophy of using what is useful and discarding the rest to create an ever-growing catalog of applications.

Seneca followed his earlier assertion with, “What then? Shall I not follow in the footsteps of my predecessors? I shall indeed use the old road, but if I find one that makes a shorter cut and is smoother to travel, I shall open the new road.”

Pave your own way.

As teachers and coaches, we should strive to provide our students with the tools they need to create their own interpretation of the system. Give them the lumber and nails, but let them build the house.

This may be blasphemous to some, but I have never liked the idea of bowing to a picture of a man. You see this in traditional schools when they bow to Jigoro Kano or Morihei Ueshiba, and more modern schools when there is a picture of one of the Gracies at the front of the room.

Seneca implored us to keep in mind, “Men who have made these discoveries before us are not our masters, but our guides. Truth lies open for all; it has not yet been monopolized. And there is plenty of it left even for posterity to discover.”

Take the principles and foundations laid before us and build new structures. Standing on the shoulders of giants is great, but we should always strive to see farther than they did.

Don’t show up to the family dinner with half a ham without a reason and always seek the “why” behind the “how.”

Photo by Thao Le Hoang on Unsplash

5 thoughts on “Family Traditions: A Recipe for Realization

  1. I had read somewhere that, “a true researcher is one who is ready to challenge the conventional wisdom” .
    Your blog accurately reflects the mindset of people today, who believe that there is nothing more left to be unraveled.
    Lets be inquisitive and curious.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s not just on the teacher though, a student’s openness to trying new things comes into play here too. I’ve seen a handful of students at training courses I’ve attended critique the instructors method of teaching a technique/skill or a suggestions for improving it with something along the lines of “that’s not how I was taught”. This type of close mindedness from either a student (or a teacher) baffles me. As I student at a course, I do my best to keep an open mind and try a new or different approach/suggestion to a technique/skill with the hope that I will be able to fuse the best parts of of the different approaches into what works best for me. The goal is to always keep improving, or as you put it “to ever be the student”.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sobering thought! Thank you for rendering this in such a beautiful way. So as to demonstrate the spirit of your message, could you rephrase the following quote so that it gels with your discourse above?

    “To help others, one must first establish one’s own humane character, which is done by imitating models of superior men from the past.” – Confucius

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s